Monday, April 13, 2009

Living the American Dream

"My friends have been laid off and my hours have been cut to 50%." I told Jack, a self-employed doctor. "You're living the American Dream," he replied. "Today that means you have a roof over your head, food on the table, you can pay the rent and you have a job." 

This conversation was remarkable to me for many reasons. Jack is a lovely, kind man, but he is not known for accepting the state of the union, or his life, without complaint. Being a self-employed professional, his expectation was that by this time in his life he would be moving into retirement with enough money in the bank to support his family, take vacations and buy the occasional new, hot car. He wasn't expecting to have to still be working and he certainly wasn't planning on watching his saving dwindle to kids-in-college levels.  And yet there he was, blithely pointing out the obvious to me .... things have changed. He's not anywhere close to being able to retire and I .... well, I at least have something of a job left. 

The thing is, his words were oddly comforting .... like the fog that lifts in your brain when you finally comprehend a new idea. The next day I heard a report about a party that someone was giving for others who were, like the party-giver, unemployed. "There is no shame in being unemployed anymore," he is reported to have said.  No shame perhaps, but one still has to eat and live somewhere. A colleague told me of her friend who has a house and family and no job. His wife just lost her job too and so they worry about how they will be able to pay their mortgage and not lose their house.  My friends are greeting their new status with differing attitudes. One is taking it as an opportunity to truly focus on a business she has dabbled at for years. The other two are cobbling together bits and pieces of jobs here and there in order to bring in enough money to pay their share of their health benefits and have food and a home. I see forced smiles and hear nervousness when we ask about their future plans.  

Surveying all this I realize Jack is correct .... the American Dream has changed. It's no longer about striving to be better and better, to have more and do more. Today it's about hanging on, about being grateful for our friends and food and shelter and what jobs we have.  In some way that is very sad. Yet, ultimately it might be a good thing. How much more could we want? How many more closets full of clothes, garages full of cars, offices full of gadgets, passports full of stamps, do we actually need? In reality, the only things we truly need are food, shelter and the people we love. Jack didn't mention love, but, proud grandfather that he is, I know he was including it. 

So in these days of hardship, I wish you The American Dream. May you have food, shelter.... enough .... and the love of friends and family. You know, that's not such a bad dream after all.