Monday, February 20, 2012

Whitney Who?

This past Saturday I watched the funeral of singer and actress Whitney Houston. I didn't expect to watch, let alone spend most of the day in front of the TV. Certainly I thought she had an incredible voice but I didn't consider myself a fan, nor was I particularly interested in her life with Bobby. However, I found myself getting increasingly sad until I found myself sitting in front of the TV, tears running down my face. I stayed for the four hour funeral, I stayed for the analysis afterwards and I stayed for a showing of The Bodyguard. What was going on?

On Sunday one of my friends posted a picture of the caskets of fallen service personnel with the caption, "Whitney Who?" Earlier, someone else had posted their anger over a celebrity being given so much press, while the horrible genetic disease that ravishes her child, goes unnoticed. I understand the viewpoints of both of these people and, to a certain extent, share them. But I think the death of Whitney Houston is about more than just the death of a celebrity.

Whitney apparently had everything. Not only did she have talent but she had the kind of infrastructure and support that most aspiring artists only dream about. She had a mother and aunt who were popular singers in their own right. They knew the business and had the contacts. She came from a huge religious community who loved her. She was gorgeous and she was smart. She ultimately became an international star with more chart topping songs than any other artist, while showing the world that she could also act. All of that and yet, she died alone under circumstances that still aren't clear, and after agreeing to go back into rehab for still one more try.

I've come to believe a good portion of our grief at her death has nothing to do with Whitney but rather because it terrifies us. It represents something we'd rather not face. If anyone should be able to overcome her demons, it should be someone like Whitney Houston. Money, friends, family, religion, resources galore, she had it all. And yet, no one could save her. I believe that Whitney was not just a celebrity who died but she's also a terrible symbol of our inability to really be in control of our lives. I've written before about the image we have of ourselves as independent, in-control of our own fate, individualists. But the death of someone like Whitney shows us that no matter how much money or fame or knowledge we have, we still can lose. Charlie Sheen made a joke of the word, "WINNER!" but people took to it because he identified something that we, as a country, believe ourselves to be. Unfortunately, Whitney showed us we can also be losers. We grieve yet understand a soldier dying. We have rituals and honors for that. We may not understand a baby dying from a rare disease, but we have organizations and support groups for that. But someone like Whitney, like us, when we can't cope, when life takes over us, instead of us taking over it, there is nothing for that. And that is the horror for us.

Hello again

I'd like to thank everyone for being so patient with me as I've struggled through the last year of my life. Maybe some day I'll write about it, but not today. Today I just want to announce I think I'm back to writing and hope you'll be hearing from me at least once a month.

I still intend to keep the original intent of this blog and that is to write to challenge you, but in order to help us understand each other. I hope I succeed.

PS...for some reason once I post these blog entries the fonts seem to change. I apologize for any odd font issues.